SAHARA DE MUJHE KHUDA — Oh Help Me Lord!

Somehow we lose our way. It happens to a lot of us. We start out overwhelmed by Love, overwhelmed by our calling, purpose, destiny, FREEDOM…and then we become deceived, believing that we need more than His Love to be free.

I’m dry. This Texas wilderness is hard to walk through — even harder than the heavily silted, bamboo-lined streams of Northeast India. At least there I felt Your Love and I knew that Assamese guns couldn’t hurt me, but here…here I get hurt by everything. It’s a lesson in exfoliation as the cacti and dry trees scrape against my legs, ridding me of pretensions and allowing me to hear Love again. Where did You go? Why do You hide Your face from me? I want to know You again, to feel You again. Show me how I fell off of Your path, and show me how to get back on.

The enemy chases me, he pursues me, he crushes me to the ground, I live in darkness like those long dead….but, I want to feel Your LOVE again. I want to feel fully FREE again…show me…and while I wait, I will still praise You. Show me how to submit, and I will follow. Satisfy me again in the morning with your Lovingkindness, so that I can sing out of Joy to You, my rock and my fortress, my redeemer, my God. You alone are my Strength. Come quickly Lord and answer me!

The Sounds of San Antonio

Hip Hop: Exploitation of Women, Materialism, Violence. Disgusting.

I thought I had left Akon behind when I left the drug-filled, militant, and marginalized area of Lawsohtun, Shillong, Northeast India -- only to find now that Akon is visiting San Antonio.

I feel so sad that marginalized people around the world (and my friends in Lawsohtun are included) seem to gravitate towards hip-hop culture. Its not that I hate hip-hop culture, just most of it, or most of what its become. It feels like the Prosperity Gospel for the flesh. Enslaving us, NOT freeing us. Its anything but prophetic, and anything but grace-filled.

But at least its San Antone, and that means that kids have to be nice here, even in the marginalized community where I live. I NEVER wanna hear little children singing (for the thousandth time): ‘…but you already knOow, I wanna F$&% you…’ ever again…

Man do we need Grace to fill our ears. Here’s some:

Identity & Action

This Sunday I’m sharing my story at a fellowship in the area — but behind my story (’cause…it’s not about me!) is a message God fills me with. It’s all about Identity & Action.

Action that doesn’t come out of relationships created through an understanding of our true identity is legalistic. Like simplifying life to help the poor, seeking holiness, or seeking justice — all of these good actions can flow from a legalistic heart and therefore, will not be able to be sustained in the long-run.

Our True identity is hidden in Christ, and when we seek Him, we find ourselves — our TRUE selves. The problem in us not living pleasing lives to God (personally and socially) is not our lack of willpower or determination but simply a lack of true knowledge about our True Identity in the context of a suffering family.

We do not exist alone (as Westerners would like to believe). Our identity isn’t found in our “biological” family either (as South Asian’s assume). Our identity is found in Jesus. The Truth is that when we enter into a relationship with Jesus we become part of a large, global , and very, very REAL family — most of whom are suffering.

When our eyes are opened to our identity in the context of a large and suffering family, our natural response is: Action.

Just as understanding our identity in Christ moves us to desire personal holiness, so this New identity also moves us to desire social justice among our brothers and sisters.

The real problem behind living lavish, “prosperous”, yet empty lives is that we simply do not understand our relationship with our REAL brothers and sisters who are oppressed, marginalized, and very, very poor. We simply don’t know who we are. If we are blessed enough to have discovered our True Identity in relationship to Jesus and the most oppressed, then it’s about time that we “get our…stuff…together” and help others discover themselves… =)

Dedicated to Mr. O’reilly & myself

In the midst of my own failures and my cry for integrity and justice inside and out I find these words very meaningful…

“How miserable I am I feel like a fruit-picker

who arrived here

After the harvest

There’s nothing here at all

Nothing at all here that could placate my hunger

The godly people are all gone

There’s not one honest soul left alive

Here on the planet

We’re all murderers and thieves

Setting traps here for even our brothers

And both of our hands are equally skilled

At doing evil, equally skilled

At bribing the judges, equally skilled

At perverting justice

Both of our hands

Both of our hands

The day of justice comes

And is even now swiftly arriving

Don’t trust anyone at all

Not your best friend or even your wife

For the son hates the father

The daughter despises even her mother

Look, your enemies arrive

Right in the room of your very household

And both of their hands are equally skilled

At doing evil, equally skilled

At bribing the judges, equally skilled

At perverting justice

Both of their hands

Both of their hands

No, don’t gloat over me

Though I fall, though I fall I will rise again

Though I sit here in darkness

The Lord, the Lord alone

He will be my light

I will be patient as the Lord Punishes me for the wrongs I’ve done Against Him

After that, He’ll take my case

Bringing me to light and the justice

For all I have suffered

And both of His hands

Are equally skilled

At ruining evil, equally skilled

At judging the judges, equally skilled

Administering justice

Both of His hands

Both of His hands

Are equally skilled

At showing me mercy, equally skilled

At loving the loveless, equally skilled

Administering justice

Both of His hands

Both of His hands” ~Jon Foreman – Equally Skilled